Today's writing inspiration

http://www.murderati.com/blog/2009/4/19/how-do-you-know-when-to-quit.html

My promise to myself:

To keep learning and improving my writing
To never give up on a dream I first had on Lake Michigan at 15 years old
To understand that 'not right for me' isn't 'not right' period.
To write with meaning and purpose
To grow as a person through the experience

I love snark

So I have been reading Janet Reid, Nathan Bransford, etc etc. Janet posted a link that was basically somebody bellyaching about getting rejected 60 times and how agents have failed and the system doesn't work. Well, the author of said rant found Janet's post and commented, and one of the other readers replied (and this is why I love writers):

Whiner: "(*I'll be brief. Probably not, but one can only hope.*)"

Janet-reader: Of course you won't. I doubt you could be brief on a true or false question.

HAHAHAHA. What a great insult. It's even better because the whiner's rant is like 40 pages long and it's so badly written and boring that I stopped after about three paragraphs. As others have pointed out, no wonder he wasn't published! The bottom line is that hard work pays off. If you write a good story, polish it up, and write a great query you will probably do okay in the business. But it does require learning to write, editing, editing again, and then going back and editing some more. So far I've read Deceiver's Will about 5 times and every time I read it I make tweaks and changes. I've just done my first read through of Prophet's Bequest and made small changes, and will doubtlessly be making many more. That's the business. If you submit crap, you're going to be rejected.

Here's the link to the post: http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2009/04/sorry-i-havent-gotten-back-to-you.html

There is nothing new under the sun...

Or so they say. A friend who I sent the first three chapters of my manuscript recently asked me if I was inspired by another author's book (Curse of Chalion by Bujold). Now, I have read Chalion, but I actually started planning my books long before I read them (planning started in 2006, reading Bujold started in late 2007). My books do deal with similar theology to hers, because I am pretty sure we are of the same religion and share similar philosophies. My books are based around the idea of free will and allowing yourself to trust God, and sort of explore from a couple different perspective the things that keep us from doing what God has set for us. I do think there are similarities, but my plot is totally different, characters are different--they are just of similar themes. But I am kind of worried that if somebody notices that, it might make it harder for me to publish because it's been done. Sort of. I mean, it really hasn't.

Bujold's Chalion books, specifically Curse of Chalion and Paladin of Souls are about two characters, Cazaril in the first and Ista in the second, who both find themselves under the attention of a deity, and there is all sorts of intrigue and evil going on. The deities are all "good" and the evil is of men. The story mostly deals with choosing to follow the plans of the deities and being available to them.

My story deals with two deities, the Creator and the Deceiver. Magic is done by executing a contract with one of the deities, but most people only use magic from the Creator because the contracts from the Creator are never anything bad, while the contracts from the Deceiver are not only unknown, but if you break whatever possible terms of the contract, you pay the price by being slowly devoured by the Deceiver, body and soul. Although ultimately our stories deal with the same theme of trusting a deity completely, my story also deals with the other side of the coin, which is that in dealing with evil, you think you are in control (that's the lure) and you think you're obeying YOUR will (being in control of one's destiny is what most people want, or at least want to believe they have) but you are really being tricked and used. So while both God and evil (Satan or whatever evil of your choice) take your will, God only does so for good, and you choose that every day, with no obligation, whereas with the Devil, you become owned and entangled and lack control AND are not being used for good.

Well, that made me feel better. I was really nervous thinking that they are too similar and are based on ideas that are too close, but looking at them that way, my book is completely different. It not only deals with both sides of the "free will" coin, it comes to slightly different conclusions. And of course the fact that my characters are completely unique and my plot deals with an entire different set of conflicts. I feel so much better now!

Snippet and more

I've been working on the third book in the Nexus trilogy lately. I'm started to really get a handle on this plot and where it's headed, although I think I need to do a bit more detailed outlining. My outline is, I realized yesterday, pretty vague. So here is a little taste of what's happening now.

[James, who is having a vision, encounters an odd person while trailing a young man named Arlan.]

James watched the men depart. That had been odd, and judging by the look on the blonde man's face, he had also thought as much. James followed the man toward the palace exit, not really sure if he should tail Arlan or follow the brothers, but the brothers were gone and he felt compelled to remain with the healer. As they left, James saw a shadowed figure lurking in the corner of the foyer. He looked at the form as he passed, getting an uncanny sort of feeling about whoever it was. He didn't look like an ordinary guard to James. He was different from the others here, from Arlan and from himself. He looked less solid. James stopped and took a step toward the figure, and the figure suddenly charged at him. He cried out in fear and lost his balance as the man rammed into him—very solidly for a man who looked so aural! Baffled, James followed the man's form with his eyes until he was gone, and then pushed himself to his feet to catch up with Arlan.

I had managed to write every day this week until yesterday. I think it was Holly Lisle who said that to be a writer you have to write every day, and if you can't do that while you have a job, you're not going to be able to motivate yourself to do it full time when you don't have another job. As helpful as I've found her site, I have to disagree. I'm a full time graduate student with two teaching assignments and research, and I am only human. I don't have the energy to crank out 5 pages a day after writing a 15 page paper, grading a stack of exams, running participants, and sitting through 3 hours of class. I don't know what human being does, and maybe that means I'm just not energetic enough, but I don't think so. I write when I can, and I write a lot. I may go two days without writing and then write solidly for six or seven hours on the weekend. I've been thinking about this for a while, and I definitely disagree. I'm a writer, damnit, even if I do skip a day of writing now and then.

(And I am totally going to write my bum off this weekend!)

The Calling (not the band variety)

I've been really disenchanted with school lately. It kind of sucks being in school when you have no intention of ever working in a particular field. I am pretty much getting a degree in order to improve my chances of getting employment until I can support myself by writing. Even though I'm young, I am a quick study and I love learning about writing and publishing. I'm always trying to improve my craft, and I know that I'll be successful one day. Do I have dreams of being the next Stephen King? No. Well, okay, yes, but I know those aren't realistic dreams. But do I think I can sell a novel or two a year with a good advance, and probably have the sales actually cover the advance? Yes, I think so. Not this year or next, but in the near future.

See, I put aside my dream of writing for psychology. When I was fourteen I decided I wanted to be a writer. When I was sixteen I remember walking on the beach of Lake Michigan thinking about how one day I would have a house on a beach somewhere and sit at my desk with a cup of tea on my desk and a dog on my feet, and I would write for hours, and I would love every minute of it. Then I had a teacher tell me I didn't have the balls to deal with rejection, and my mom told me writing isn't real career anyway, so I pushed it aside. Well, it took six years, but I'm back and I'm determined that this is my calling. I tried to do the "real profession" thing, and I did learn invaluable things from my study of psychology, but at this point classes are old hat and I'm both stressed and underwhelmed.

I've been miserable all week praying for the end of the semester to come quickly. I have a 15 page research paper I have yet to start. During class I worked on the third book in the Nexus trilogy, as I've been doing since starting graduate school (what can I say, I'm a bad student), and every time I had to pay attention or answer a question I was annoyed that my writing was being interrupted! I was wallowing all afternoon and evening procrastinating (still haven't started the paper, or the grading, or anything) and finally decided I would type up what I wrote today. I realized while I was typing it up that it made me so happy! I wasn't even writing anything new, just typing what I had written earlier, and I was loving every word of it! I love figuring out the best choice of words, and I love tweaking and being clever and trying to intrigue people. While sitting here typing, my depression melted away.

And then, of course, I started thinking about how terrible tomorrow is going to be, what with writing that paper and grading a stack of undergrad exams, and all the other crap I have to do. I think this is a sign that this is what I'm meant to do. Face it, I'm lazy as can be. It's a good thing I'm smart, otherwise I never would have gotten through college. I am used to half-assing, and the only thing I really don't half ass is writing, because I love putting my all into a story and seeing it take shape and turn into something great. THAT is how I know this is what I'm meant to do.

Ha! It's good to amuse yourself, I guess.

So I finally started writing book three, for real this time. I have a couple pages, and once Holy Week is over I'll probably get into gear even more. I wanted to check some facts before I really got into it, though, so I started reading book two. I know, I know, I should edit this one before I start the next one. Well, I've edited the first one, at least! (Editing isn't my strong point, but I am learning.) So anyway, I was reading The Prophet's Bequest for the first time since I speed-wrote it in December and January, and I have to say I have definitely amused myself. Here are a couple little clips that made me laugh:

[After accidentally rescuing a pregnant girl with no memory]
“Yeah, well, you owe me,” he grunted, sitting down and pulling out a protein pack. He tossed one in her lap, and she looked up for a moment before reaching for it. The long sleeves fell over her hands when she tried to reach for the pack. She began to cry. Startled, he stopped chewing.
“Who's the donor?” he asked, hoping to distract her from her weeping. It was too annoying to bear after this horrendous evening.
“What?” she sobbed.
“The donor, the sperm donor. Who's the father?”
“I don't know.”
“Oooh, you're that kind of girl. I like that kind.”

(What a jerk.)

And then...
[After escaping from soldiers in hot pursuit]
“Follow me,” the bi-eyed man grunted, taking the lead. As James rounded the corner, he saw a flood of soldiers break down the door of the inn. They followed Pollus at a near run until the pregnant girl started having trouble breathing. James forced him to slow their grueling pace. He continued to lead them, though he wished he knew where they were going. His skin ached from the cold.
He laughed suddenly. "This cold is insane. It's like Jack Frost bludgeoning you with a baseball bat," James said.
"What?" Jaana looked startled. "Who is Jack Frost?"
James laughed. "There's a song that says something about Jack Frost nipping at your nose--it's an expression that means it's cold outside. This is beyond nipping cold. This is assault and battery cold."

I distinctly remember getting the idea for that scene, and I was definitely in Minnesota. Ever been to Minnesota in the winter? You will definitely understand why that made me laugh. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that I can make myself laugh. It either means I am actually funny (and just forgot about it enough to be surprised by it) or I am a dork and am only funny to myself. Oh well.

The Litocamppus

I have been really busy with school lately. I've had exams, experimental design assignments, and piles of papers to grade. TA is actually a misnomer, they should call what we do indentured servitude. Not that I mind, most of the time, but I hate grading papers. Just one of the many reasons I don't want to be a professor. So I finally had a chance to sit down and read something that wasn't about multiple regression correlation or the striate cortex. I'm reading Exile's Valor by Mercedes Lackey. I'm really enjoying it so far. Alberich is really compelling, and I want to be Selenay's friend. While I was reading last night I realized that I was suddenly feeling "the itch" to write. I took a little break after I finished finished editing Deceiver's Will, and was feeling a little burned out on the series (writing two novels in 6 months will do that, I guess), but as I was reading it was like the writing part of my brain flipped on.

When I read now, I try to analyze the writing style, the perspective, the choice in words, so that I can improve my own writing. In doing so, I guess my "Litocamppus" (my made up brain area) reactivated. So today in the classes that I don't pay attention to, I started jotting a bit of book three down. The characters are coming back so easily, and now that I'm on the final book of the series I feel like I really know where the story is going and it starts to come out in that same natural way that I've been struggling with recently. I guess the moral of the story is: even when you have to memorize a thousand details about ANOVAs and the dorsal and ventral streams and Leta Stetter Hollingworth, it's important to stay in writer mode. If I allow myself to constantly get distracted by school I'll never get this thing published. School is what I'm doing now, but writing is what I want to be doing with the rest of my life.

Gwen Writes, take one

I started this blog because I'm trying to become a writer. As such I've been starting to follow some writer and agent blogs to become better informed. So this is here, for me to write my questions or thoughts, and post updates on the process.

So a little about me. I'm a student of psychology, but I've wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. I've written two books in my trilogy, and edited the first one. I'm planning on starting the third book any day now (it's all planned out), and I've got another universe in my head that I'm pretty excited about. Even though the market right now kind of sucks, I'm confident in my ability to break into this business, because I feel like I have important things to say through my books.

So that's about all for now. I'll probably post updates from time to time on how the agent search is going, and maybe even some clips from the books. Mostly, it's to keep track of the things I learn as I make my way toward the land of publication.